My World Didn’t End at 16

Because my world didn't end when I was 16, I went to college.

Because my world didn't end when I was 16, I got a cat—a chunky cat who loves to cuddle.

Because my world didn't end when I was 16, I got married.

Because my world didn't end when I was 16, I met my son.

Because my world didn't end when depression tried to take my life when I was 16, I will turn 29 this year.

I met Jesus in a whole new way. I rediscovered myself and learned that life doesn't have to be perfect to be worth living.

At 16, I couldn't imagine the life waiting for me. I couldn't see the college graduation, the wedding, the baby, the friendships, the ordinary Tuesday afternoons dancing with my son, or the joy that would find me again.

I'm grateful that the worst day of my life wasn't the last day of my life.

Because my world didn't end at 16, my story didn't end at 16 either.

When you’re in the middle of depression, it can feel like God is distant or silent. I remember feeling like I had fallen into a pit so far that I could never get out. I definitely didn’t understand that God could still be writing something good in the middle of something so painful.

What I’ve learned since then is that faith doesn’t always feel strong in the moment, it’s often something you look back and recognize. There were days I didn’t feel carried, but I was. There were prayers I barely had words for, and somehow God still heard them. There were seasons when surviving the day itself felt like my only victory, and even that was enough for God to work with.

Healing isn’t a straight line. Following Jesus didn’t erase struggle from my life. I still have hard days. I still take medication. I still see a therapist. But I also have peace I didn’t think I would ever feel again.

God didn’t just pull me out of depression; He rebuilt my life inside of it and after it. Not all at once, not perfectly, but faithfully. Through people, through time, through medicine, through Scripture, through grace that met me in places I didn’t think grace would reach.

Now when I look back, I don’t just see survival. I see provision. I see protection. I see a God who didn’t leave me in the place I thought would define me forever.

What felt like an ending at 16 was actually the beginning of a story I couldn’t imagine yet.

If you’re in that place right now where it feels like nothing will ever change, that the future feels impossible to imagine, I hope you’ll stay. Not because tomorrow will magically fix everything, but because God is working, even when you can’t see it. He’s writing so many more chapters for your life, ones you cannot even begin to imagine.

Looking back, I'm not grateful for depression. But I am grateful that depression didn't get the final word.

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 for immediate support from a trained crisis counselor. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.